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RIP, Steve

October 5th, 2011 No comments

Times are always changing. Somedays. Recently. Well. It’s been a bit much.

And then today? I lost one on my “bucket list” .. That list of things you want to accomplish before .. your .. inevitable end.

I didn’t want to say anything profound. I didn’t want to change his perspective. I didn’t want a cent.

I just wanted to shake the man’s hand.

Rather?

I wish you rest, Steve Jobs.

The work you did.

The lives you changed cialisviagras.net.

The culture you brought to The Valley.

It. Was. Worth. It.!!!

When you give your heart. Your soul. To your work. Your purpose.

Well.

It sucks to be Jesus.

But everyone has a “job” to do.

And you, Sir? You Won at The Game.

So. Rest Well.

I’ll catch you on the other side.

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Always forgive. Never forget.

September 8th, 2011 No comments

I’ve worked so hard

for my Good Name.

Who do you think you are

to spread Pain?

I am who I am.

There is no forgiveness.

If it weren’t for My Suffering

who would forget your Shamelessness?

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“Murder to Excellence”

September 6th, 2011 No comments

It’s an exceptionally sad world when I try to simply quote powerful POETRY (rap.. lyrics.. whatever.) And American paranoid society dictates that I agree to things I don’t believe in. .. Sue me for my interpretation of your art. Kanye. Or,  just check out my “About’ page for my email address.

This is a song from my .. hood. .. youth. STFU and listen. Bolds are my own emphasis.

Kanye West – Murder to Excellence Lyrics

Verse I:

Too much enemy fire to catch a friendly
Strays from the same shade nigga, we on the same team
Giving you respect, I expect the same thing
All-black everything, nigga you know my fresh code
I’m out here fighting for you, don’t increase my stressload!
Niggas watching the throne, very happy to be
Power to the people, when you see me, see you

Verse II:
And I’m from the murder capital where they murder for capital
Heard about at least three killings this afternoon
Looking at the news like “damn! I was just with him after school”
No shop class but half the school got a tool
And “I could die any day”-type attitude
Plus his little brother got shot repping his avenue
It’s time for us to stop and redefine black power
41 souls murdered in fifty hours

Verse III:
Is it genocide?
Cause I can still hear his mama cry
Know the family traumatized
Shots left holes in his face about piranha-sized
The old pastor closed the cold casket
And said the church ain’t got enough room for all the tombs
It’s a war going on outside we ain’t safe from
I feel the pain in my city wherever I go
314 soldiers died in Iraq, 509 died in Chicago

Verse IV:
… real niggas just multiply
And they say by 21 I was supposed to die
So I’m out here celebrating my post-demise
If you put crabs in a barrel to insure your survival
You’re gon’ end up pulling down niggas that look just like you
What up, Blood? What up, cuz? It’s all black, I love us

It’s a celebration of black excellence, black tie, black Maybachs


Black excellence, opulence, decadence
Tuxes next to the president, I’m present
I dress in Dries and other boutique stores in Paris
In sheepskin coats, I silence the lambs
Do you know who I am, Clarice?
No cheap cologne whenever I “shh-shh”
Success never smelled so sweet
I stink of success, the new black elite
They say my Black Card bears the mark of the beast
I repeat: my religion is the beat
My verse is like church, my Jesus piece
Now please, domino, domino
Only spot a few blacks the higher I go
What’s up to Will? Shout out to O
That ain’t enough.. we gonna need a million more
“Kick in the door” Biggie flow
I’m all dressed up with nowhere to go

[Verse 4: Kanye]
Yeah it’s all messed up when it’s nowhere to go
So we won’t take the time out ’til we reach the T-O-P
From parolees to hold G’s, sold keys, low keys
We like the promised land of the OG’s
In the past if you picture events like a black tie
What the last thing you expect to see, black guys?

What’s the life expectancy for black guys?
The system’s working effectively, that’s why!

I’ll be a real man and take care of your son
Every problem you had before this day is now done
New crib, watch a movie cause ain’t nothin on the news but the blues
Hit the mall, pick up some Gucci, now ain’t nothing new but your shoes
Sunday morning, praise the Lord
You’re the girl that Jesus had been saving me for
So let’s savor this moment and take it to the floor
Black excellence, truly yours

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Happy Labor Day

September 5th, 2011 No comments

This blog needs a little refresh. Like, something positive.

So, Happy Labor Day, America!! If you have the day off, enjoy the irony and the day. Go do something that you WANT, not necessarily HAVE to do.

But please remember to be EXTRA kind to those folks who are still working. And know that they would trade you places today, to be with their friends/family/reading a book/at home watching tv/whatever it is they like to do.

And for everyone, working today or not: Choose a moment to enjoy the day. And enjoy that moment to the best of your abilities.

For some, every day is a struggle. Today, choose to at least find one minute of rest, and be thankful of what you have and who you are.

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“Roll Away Your Stone” – Mumford & Sons

September 1st, 2011 No comments

Roll away your stone, I’ll roll away mine

Together we can see what we will find

Don’t leave me alone at this time

For I’m afraid of what I will discover inside

You told me that I would find a home,

Within the fragile substance of my soul

And I have filled this void with things unreal

And all the while my character it steals

But darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?

And yet it dominates the things I see

It seems as if all my bridges have been burned

But you say that’s exactly how this grace thing works

It’s not the long walk home that will change this heart

But the welcome I receive with the restart

Well darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?

And yet it dominates the things I see

Darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?

And yet it dominates the things I see

Stars hide your fires

These here are my desires

And I will give them up to you this time around

And so, I’ll be found with my steak stuck in this ground

Marking its territory of this newly impassioned soul

Hide your fires

These here are my desires

And I won’t give them up to you this time around …

But you, you’ve gone too far this time

You have neither reason nor rhyme

With which to take this soul that is so rightfully mine

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Slow Down

August 31st, 2011 No comments

Never under estimate the power of the number 115. Particularly not when staring down a temperature gauge.

Had I recognized its intensity, I might not have found myself doing point-ballet from my car to my front door after walking outside barefoot musing, “How bad could it be?”

Rushing toward the minivan’s shadow, eyes on my burning toes, I danced over a resting butterfly. Despite its attempts to flutter away, it barely hovered over the steaming cement.

My heels fell to the ground as I stooped to lift the delicate creature from where it lay nearly paralyzed.

In the cool of our air conditioner, we sat for a while. Drop by drop, it drank from my palm.

Until, finally, it had its fill. And found its peace.

I carried the lightly quivering soul to a flower pot in my garden. Separating the blossoming leaves, I laid it down to rest.

“Slow down,” I almost heard it whisper.

“Slow down. Life is too short for you to be racing.

“Slow down. You are too young to be aching.

“Slow down.”

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Being A Mom Made Me A Worse Employee

March 19th, 2010 No comments

Yet again, it’s been a while since I’ve updated. I’ll admit that once my lapse hit a few months, I was almost too embarrassed to return. But I have. Because I have a pretty good excuse for slacking off since November.

After being hit by the recession in June, I was excited by possibilities. I think it was just because I avoided reality so well for a while. I kept my kids in daycare for nearly a month while I reinvented myself, pulling weeds in my garden (literally and figuratively).

I started doing a little consulting, mostly on temporary projects. Working with a few companies and individuals, I found ways to leverage my understanding of targets, contextual planning, and traditional/digital/social media to be able to work from home, with my kids.

Four months into it, I got a call out of the blue from an outstanding digital agency in the metro. I was floored to talk to them, let alone how quickly we wound up speeding towards a path of working together. Less than a week after my first (second and third) interview(s), I put my kids back in daycare and started a new full-time position.

My full-time day-job exceeded my expectations, but I found myself overwhelmed with both full and part time jobs, two kids and just too much as the CEO of my household.

To make matters more difficult, it was the beginning of the sick-season, and boy, did it hit our household hard! I found myself taking off almost weekly to tend to a sick child (or myself). When at work, I was worrying about if my kids were washing their hands enough and not sharing their snacks and drinks and what if they didn’t cover their mouths when they coughed and what if their friend sneezed in their face like they always do to me and how many more times was I going to have to call in this week and would my boss get annoyed with me and what if I just went in when I was sick and took down the whole office and spread the funk and…?

“Overwhelmed” perhaps turned into “worried sick.” After a panic attack left me hooked up to an EKG in a parking lot (ironically, in front of a Starbucks), I knew something had to change.

I considered leaving the part-time work behind, but it really wasn’t those extra couple hours per week that pushed my sanity over the limit. I thought about hiring a house cleaner, but the idea of a stranger alone in my house, doing my favorite (albeit most time-consuming and strenuous) chores freaked me out. I even tossed around the idea of hiring a personal assistant to help me around the house, pick up the kids or run errands.

I returned to work following a brief sanity-break, and turned in my notice.

In the end, all of those options still meant living with the one thing that bothered me the most: My kids would have to be taken care of – raised – by someone other than me. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to curb any of those anxieties about what was happening in daycare without giving up something bigger.

I’m officially independent. Today is my kids last (full) day in daycare. Being a WAHM (Work At Home Mom) is certainly not going to be easy. But neither was trying to juggle being a mom of two young kids and being good employee. Not that I was horrible, but having kids certainly made me less of an employee than I was used to being.

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Screw not talking to strangers

August 31st, 2008 No comments

Not all conversations are the same. Or at least, they don’t have to be.

Every day, we talk about the same things that we talked about yesterday. We spark various levels of mutual interests with people that are ultimately similar to us. It’s not our fault. We’re just pre-positioned that way.

By default, we’re pushed towards sameness in our own personal versions of normalcy. Our household incomes afford us the ability to live in this or that neighborhood. Our educations, or lack-there-of, bind us through employment. Goals and ambitions pull us into similar friendship groups (business clubs, PTAs and even the blogs we read). While what we are closest to day in and day out is vastly similar to our own reflection, there’s a bigger pool out there of people that, really, are nothing even remotely close to you. My best quick example that usually comes as a shocker within groups I usually find myself faced with with is this: according to various sources linking back to the U.S. Census Bureau, the average household brings in just under $50.1k and supports roughly 2.5 people. A deeper look into that shows the average home contains just under 2 adults and just over 1 child, so quite a few single parent homes with multiple kids.

While this seems obvious enough, you’d be amazed by how many conversations about target audiences and consumer groups wind up with various conclusions of the same rather self-centric mind-frame: “the focus group of one.” This is when a person in the conversation (It’s been me at times. I’ll admit it), uses themselves at the example of why (not) a target will (not) do/think/feel/eat/buy something. It ultimately ends with the grandest of all irrefutable arguments, “I wouldn’t do that.”

“Well. Okay. But, you weren’t the topic of this conversation, were you,” is always what I’m left wanting to say.

Instead, what I challenge is this: Screw not talking to strangers.

While it goes against everything that our mothers taught us, we do meet the strange (or otherwise, people unlike us). In the middle. In between. In the bathroom. At a gas station. In an airport. In a bar, in an unfamiliar part of town.

Take advantage of that awkward “elevator situation” and have a real conversation. Not about the weather. But about life. Family. Love. Loss. ..A real conversation. Share: honestly, openly and, most importantly, forgivingly. And then, do it again.

You might not only learn something new about how a bigger part of the population lives (remember, household is under $50.1k.. individual incomes are under $20k.. suits are out..), but you might find that one of your favorite conversations of the month wound up being with someone that didn’t speak much English at all.

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Curb Your Enthusiasm

August 24th, 2008 No comments

So, here it is. A blog. For me. And anyone that wants to read along.

Are you excited? ..I know I am.

>keepin’ it short and simple, to start<

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