MediaEnthusiast

“When I was a younger man, lookin’ for my pot of gold

Every where I turned the doors were closin’

It took every ounce of faith I had to keep on keepin’ on

And still I felt like I was only losin‘

“I refused then like I do now, let anybody tie me down

Lost a few good friends along the way

I was raised up poor and I wanted more

And maybe I’m a little too proud

Lookin’ back I see a kid who was just afraid

Hungry and old before his time

“Through the years I’ve known my share of broken hearted fools

And those who couldn’t choose a path worth taking

There’s nothin’ in the world so sad as talkin’ to a man

Who never knew his life was his for making

“Ain’t it ’bout time you realize it’s not worth keepin’ score

You win some, you lose some and you let it go

What’s the use of stacking on every failure, another stone

Till you find you’ve spent your while life building walls

Lonely and old before your time

“It took so long to see

That truth was all around me

“Now the wren has gone to roost, the sky is turnin’ gold

And like the sky my soul is also turnin’

Turning from the past, at last and all I’ve left behind

Could it be that I am finally learning?

“Learning I’m deserving of love and a peaceful heart

Won’t tear myself apart no more for tryin’

Tired of lyin’ to myself, tryin’ to buy what can’t be bought

It’s not living that you’re doing if it feels like dying

Cryin’, growin’ old before your time

Cryin’, growin’ old before your time”

- Ray LaMontagne

Dear Woman That Called Me “Bitch” Today on the On-Ramp of I-35 in Olathe, KS:

Why yes, I did understand that you wanted me to move away from the solid white line that separates the part of the road you should drive on. Rather than the part you were driving on.

Which is reserved, btw, for emergencies and emergency vehicles. Only.

Your obscene hand gestures were quite clear.

And my MiniVan was not Over The Line. I was just too close for your Giant SUV to pass me.

And yes. I did roll down my window just to be sure I could listen as you orally assaulted me. While passing me. In reverse. Not even looking in your rear-view mirror.

You were looking Right At ME.

And yes, I did laugh when you called me a Bitch.

But I am not sorry that it upset you to the point of slamming on your breaks. And almost making the other “ignorami” following your lead back up towards one of the most dangerous on-ramps in Johnson County, Kansas. To nearly hit you. And/Or ME.

And, to answer your question again: No. I am Not a cop. I do Not have a badge. I do Not carry a gun.

You were correct in that It Is Not My JOB.

But you were incorrect to say that it’s “..None of (my) Mother Fucking Business .. Stupid Cracker Bitch!!”

And you were wrong that it is not my right to be upset with you. Or the other ELEVEN Self-Centered-Americans I watched. For nearly causing Several accidents.

Particularly when you had to stop in the middle of the entrance ramp. Where everyone was trying to do the right thing. And be patient.

So you could make a u-turn. And go Out the In.

Gee. I sure hope you made it to Wally-Mart on-time.

But in your oblivious rush, you may have missed my final words over the sound of you gunning your engine. Still looking at me. Going in reverse. And almost hitting cars full of People and Children.

I was still laughing at your Bitch “insult” as I yelled back, “But I have every right to call one!”

And? Yes. I Did.

And I’ll do it again. And again. And again.

Until you learn. That the rules are there for a reason. And I Am NOT Tolerating This Sort of Irresponsible “Adult” Behavior ANY Longer.

I only wish I was better at memorizing license plate numbers. So you could have a special visitor to your home. To discuss your problems with Road Rage, Wreck-less (full!) Driving, Causing a Public Disturbance, Verbally Assaulting Me … Should I go on?

Or are you going to wise up to the fact that there are some people that aren’t as inconsiderate as you. And they might even have the Olathe Police Dept programmed into their Smartphones.

I am a citizen. It’s not my job. It’s my right. And it’s my choice.

If you only learn one thing today: Choose to Remember That.

Sincerely, Stacey

P.S. I was laughing because “Bitch” isn’t an insult. Not where I’m from. Which, btw, is NOT Kansas. So “Cracker”? “Nigga,” I speak Ebonics. Don’t you dare think you’re “blacker than me.” Even though I’m so white that I’m damn near transparent.

And to everyone else that was in that area today:

If you were ticketed for being self-centered while entering I-35 Northbound from 119th Westbound? Yeah. I’m not sorry for your poor decision-making-abilities, either.

Me: “Bitch.”

Myself: “WHAT?! Even my mother isn’t allowed to call me that.”

I: “OMG, are you serious?! STFU. You’re both goddamn crazy and I have better things to be doing right now.”

kaithxbai

I’ve worked so hard

for my Good Name.

Who do you think you are

to spread Pain?

I am who I am.

There is no forgiveness.

If it weren’t for My Suffering

who would forget your Shamelessness?

I couldn’t help but laugh at one of my morning chores today.

Sorting through my mail from yesterday.

Junk in my .. er .. ON my counter.

My “junk mail,” as my 80′s mind wants to call it.

But, is it “junk” today? Or, is it just a reflection of who we are and what we want?

Long gone are the days of buying names of lists blindly and hoping you would buy our >insert product here<.

Now? .. We know you.

Be paranoid.

Sometimes, it’s a good thing.

We’re after you.

Who?

Advertisers.

Brands.

Marketers.

“The Man.”

And?

We’re getting SMARTER.

So lock your doors.

Hide yo’ children.

No body is safe from the message we want to speak.

#preach.

It’s an exceptionally sad world when I try to simply quote powerful POETRY (rap.. lyrics.. whatever.) And American paranoid society dictates that I agree to things I don’t believe in. .. Sue me for my interpretation of your art. Kanye. Or,  just check out my “About’ page for my email address.

This is a song from my .. hood. .. youth. STFU and listen. Bolds are my own emphasis.

Kanye West – Murder to Excellence Lyrics

Verse I:
…
Too much enemy fire to catch a friendly
Strays from the same shade nigga, we on the same team
Giving you respect, I expect the same thing
All-black everything, nigga you know my fresh code
I’m out here fighting for you, don’t increase my stressload!
Niggas watching the throne, very happy to be
Power to the people, when you see me, see you

Verse II:
And I’m from the murder capital where they murder for capital
Heard about at least three killings this afternoon
Looking at the news like “damn! I was just with him after school”
No shop class but half the school got a tool
And “I could die any day”-type attitude
Plus his little brother got shot repping his avenue
It’s time for us to stop and redefine black power
41 souls murdered in fifty hours

Verse III:
Is it genocide?
Cause I can still hear his mama cry
Know the family traumatized
Shots left holes in his face about piranha-sized
The old pastor closed the cold casket
And said the church ain’t got enough room for all the tombs
It’s a war going on outside we ain’t safe from
I feel the pain in my city wherever I go
314 soldiers died in Iraq, 509 died in Chicago

Verse IV:
… real niggas just multiply
And they say by 21 I was supposed to die
So I’m out here celebrating my post-demise
If you put crabs in a barrel to insure your survival
You’re gon’ end up pulling down niggas that look just like you
What up, Blood? What up, cuz? It’s all black, I love us

…

It’s a celebration of black excellence, black tie, black Maybachs

…
Black excellence, opulence, decadence
Tuxes next to the president, I’m present
I dress in Dries and other boutique stores in Paris
In sheepskin coats, I silence the lambs
Do you know who I am, Clarice?
No cheap cologne whenever I “shh-shh”
Success never smelled so sweet
I stink of success, the new black elite
They say my Black Card bears the mark of the beast
I repeat: my religion is the beat
My verse is like church, my Jesus piece
Now please, domino, domino
Only spot a few blacks the higher I go
What’s up to Will? Shout out to O
That ain’t enough.. we gonna need a million more
“Kick in the door” Biggie flow
I’m all dressed up with nowhere to go

[Verse 4: Kanye]
Yeah it’s all messed up when it’s nowhere to go
So we won’t take the time out ’til we reach the T-O-P
From parolees to hold G’s, sold keys, low keys
We like the promised land of the OG’s
In the past if you picture events like a black tie
What the last thing you expect to see, black guys?
What’s the life expectancy for black guys?
The system’s working effectively, that’s why!
I’ll be a real man and take care of your son
Every problem you had before this day is now done
New crib, watch a movie cause ain’t nothin on the news but the blues
Hit the mall, pick up some Gucci, now ain’t nothing new but your shoes
Sunday morning, praise the Lord
You’re the girl that Jesus had been saving me for
So let’s savor this moment and take it to the floor
Black excellence, truly yours

I’ve been reading “a lot” from a little book named “Heart,” given to me by my favorite advertising agency (as far as those I’ve worked with, anyway), Barkley.

Every day, as I brush my teeth in the morning, I open the book to any random page, and read both sides.

Each page hits straight to .. well .. my heart.

Today’s Reading:

Left Page: “The outward work can never be small if the inward one is great, and the outward work can never be great if the inward is small or of little worth. There is your life and there alone you live and your work lives.” – Meister Eckhart

Right Page: “Quality is not just a chart, or a standard, or a specification – it’s a state of mind, a commitment, a responsibility, a spirit. It’s a way of doing, being and living.” – Don Galer

Welcome back to work, y’all. Make it a productive and fabulous day.

An Old Friend (AOF), 8/31: “Everything good kiddo?”

Me: “Why do you ask?”

AOF: “gee I WONDER”

Me: “lol. Because I lack a filter? .. But try?”

AOF: “lol.. just lookin out for ya babe .. as always”

Me: “It’s been a rough few months. .. But then I’ll add my filter back on, because right now it’s a fight I’m trying to avoid rather than face. … Although I’m smart enough to be prepping myself for the worst.”

AOF: “if ya need to yell, im always here.. …”

.. And then the conversation went entirely “agency/media/digital/dork” .. So I will save you from all of that.

And just say, “I am who I am. And I am not afraid of (most) things.”

I will challenge you directly. And I will apologize if I am wrong.

I am an anomaly. Or, as I prefer to say “a conundrum of contradictions.”

This blog needs a little refresh. Like, something positive.

So, Happy Labor Day, America!! If you have the day off, enjoy the irony and the day. Go do something that you WANT, not necessarily HAVE to do.

But please remember to be EXTRA kind to those folks who are still working. And know that they would trade you places today, to be with their friends/family/reading a book/at home watching tv/whatever it is they like to do.

And for everyone, working today or not: Choose a moment to enjoy the day. And enjoy that moment to the best of your abilities.

For some, every day is a struggle. Today, choose to at least find one minute of rest, and be thankful of what you have and who you are.

Just came to a realization, of sorts.

Perhaps the biggest problem in this country isn’t Laziness, Greed nor Ignorance.

Rather, I am now suspecting a new culprit: Censorship.

Yes, I realize you may think that I am “extreme” or “have no filter.” But I don’t just think twice before I speak.

I take a big breath, think my thoughts through a final time, SUCK IT UP, and say what I believe you need to hear. NOT necessarily even CLOSE to what you WANT to hear.

Yes, Clients. This applies to my conversation with you, too.

Take me or leave me.

ps. This also means my random compliments are sincere. You’re welcome. “Honesty is such a lonely word.” – Billy Joel